GAZETTE issue 4

Incorporating the Ugley Imelda Gazette
Issue No. 4

FIRST NATIONAL BANK ROBBED!Early this morning, while all the horse rustlin’ action was goin’ down downtown, the renowned rebel outlaw Rob Johnson and his boys were busy robbing the First National Bank.

Minutes before the daring robbery took place, the outlaws had the audacity to pose outside the bank for our staff photographer - Nathan Prentiss. Little did Nate know that all hell was about to break loose soon after this photo was taken!

Rebel Rob Johnson –
Outlaw or freedom fighter?
Sheriff Shirley Knott had been tipped off that Johnson and his boys were in town and up to no good, as usual, so he decided to split his posse in two and catch these southern bushwhackers in a classic pincer movement, or ‘the horns of the buffalo’ as ol’ Sitting Bull likes to say. Shirley’s lawmen headed down Main Street with Preacher in tow, while at the same time trusty Deputy Doug led fellow lawmen Herb and Tom through the back alleys to lie in wait in the grounds of Lady Isabella’s dressmakers shop, located just across the street and directly in front of the bank.

But wily ol’ Rob Johnson was expecting such a ruse from Shirley and he had taken time to position his best shot with a rifle - “Bowlegged Billy” – up on the roof of the bank as a lookout and sniper. Stephen the Heathen had his horse tethered out front and was watching from the front door, with new boy “English Tony” standing close by. This brave little Brit was eager to prove his mettle to his posse leader and personal hero - R.J.

Stephen & English Tony keep a wary eye on the street from inside the bank.
The first shot was fired by Billy who had sighted a member of the sheriff’s posse creeping about in the shadows of the livery yard. Too much breakfast coffee
had given him a touch of the caffeine jitters, and Billy’s aim was uncharacteristically off. The muzzle flash of his Winchester gave away his position, and he was lucky to only get a fleck o’ brick dust in his eye when his intended target immediately returned fire with a scoped rifle. Better you stick to decaf from now on, Billy!

Hearing this exchange of rifle fire, Rob yelled to his boys to grab what they could carry from the safe and get ready to skedaddle. Stephen the Heathen and English Tony left by the bank’s front door, intent on diverting the lawmen just long enough to enable the rest of their gang to make a clean getaway by way of the bank’s back yard.

Billy has a Nescaffé moment
up on the roof of the First National.
With the game now definitely afoot, Sheriff Shirley’s posse started to close in on the robbin’ Rebs. The lawmen were positioned on both sides of Main Street and were mighty confident that they had Johnson’s boys surrounded. Stephen the Heathen jumped on his horse and, out of the corner of one bloodshot eye, he caught a fleeting glimpse of Deputy Tom gettin’ set to draw his pistol. He shouted “Fire” to English Tony, who immediately obliged by quickly drawing, fanning, and dropping Tom before his Buntline Special had cleared its holster. Way to go, Tone! Stephen fired next and hit Deputy Doug, but Lady Luck was smiling upon him this fateful morning. The bullet skimmed the top of his Stetson and he was able to duck back for cover under the tables in Joe’s Café.
Herb, a model citizen (a 28mm model citizen in fact) was determined to do his bit to help out Imelda’s force of law and order. He espied the Injun and let rip with his six-gun. Sadly his aim wasn’t as good as his intention, and an errant slug hit Stephen’s horse in the butt which sent it bolting off into the adjacent alleyway. Stephen the Heathen was barely able to stay in the saddle as his ass-grazed mare bucked and bounced off the walls of the alley in its frenzy to get the hell outta there.
Lead starts to fly on Main Street

Steadfastly the lawmen continued to close in on the Bank as O’Reilly, Baker and Winklebottom crashed through the back gate, ahead of Rob and the boys who were laden with the loot.
Rob & Co. getting ready to runPreacher saw the back gates to the bank swing open and he grabbed the opportunity to take a pot shot at O’Reilly. His .45 cal slug parted the grey hair on the Civil War veteran’s head, and coaxed from him a colourful expletive that would have made his old drill color sergeant blush. O’Reilly and Baker returned fire in a trice, sending Preacher diving to the dirt with a hasty prayer to the Lord on his lips.

As the rival combatants closed on each other with grim intent, Deputy Doug got the draw on the renegade Cherokee and knocked him out of his saddle. His left foot got stuck in the stirrup, and the luckless injun was dragged all along the Main Street and outta town. Ouch! Oh! Road rash a go-go!

Thereafter, O’Reilly and Preacher continued to hurl lead at each other but to little effect. Winklebottom fared better when he discharged both barrels of his sawed-off shottie into Deputy Doug. Palmer added to the risk of his imminent lead poisoning by shooting Doug at the same time with his six gun. Poor ol’ Doug was wounded by the volley but still he managed to limp unaided into the Undertaker’s Yard. A rare smile cracked the craggy face of the parlour’s owner, Archie Grimsdale. It’s not often he gets customers turning up to his establishment on foot.
Backdoor action at the Bank…
ooer Matron!Seeing the Deputy disappear in a cloud of gun smoke, Johnson and his loot-laden lackeys mistakenly thought their escape route was now clear. Whistlin’ Dixie, the plucky band of bank robbin’ bandits hightailed it out of the bank’s rear yard gate and took off along a back alley that leads out of town.

Then to everyone’s astonishment, Deputy Doug came charging out of the graveyard in what seemed like an act of sheer suicide. Rob Johnson and Palmer whipped out their pistols and began blazing away at this banzai lawman. With ice-cold nerve and questionable common sense, Daredevil Doug seemed to glide in slow motion through their hail of lead. Completely unscathed, he proceeded to calmly level his six gun at Palmer and blow him unceremoniously off his feet with a single shot.
Sheriff Shirley texts for reinforcements

This unnerved both Rob and Dutchy who immediately dropped their heavy bags of loot and sought cover behind the nearest wall. Preacher, inspired by Doug’s heroism, aimed and fired at Baker and found his mark. O’Reilly started into gibbering as his old buddy bit the dust beside him. Fumbling to load his sawed-off shotgun, he proceeded to cuss the bible-bashing bar steward in a most un-Christian way. Tut tut Mr O’Reilly!

Sheriff Shirley was now finally closing in on his prey, but in doing so he left himself open to a shot from his rival posse boss. Mr Johnson got the drop and loosed off an accurate shot that wounded Shirley fair and proper. But God certainly seemed to be on the side of the law that morning, and the Sheriff duly passed his fate roll. O’Reilly continued to curse at Preacher as he leveled his now-loaded shotgun at the bible-basher’s chest. Preacher reacted quickly and scurried behind a wall, and in so doing he left a clear line of sight for Sheriff Shirley to take down the cussin’ Irishman once and for all.

“Go get the loot, I’ll cover you…”

Sensing that the law were now getting the upper hand, Johnson screamed at his men to charge. Memories of Gettysburg and Pickett’s last amble through the cornfields suddenly came flooding back into the minds of Rob’s beleaguered Rebs. With a fearsome yell, these sons of the south leapt forward and charged. Doug soon found himself surrounded by a bellowing bunch of cash-crazed confederates, and before he could say ‘Stonewall Jackson’, they had overrun him and coshed him unconscious.

Dime dancin’ in the Dust
Meanwhile, Bowlegged Billy was having a tough time of it up on the roof of the bank. Perhaps it hadn’t been a good idea to place a perambulatorily- challenged rifleman in a position from where he couldn’t easily escape without jumping. And jumping, especially downwards from a great height, is definitely not Billy’s strong point. Although he was now isolated on the roof, ol’ bandy legs did manage to snipe at Preacher and get a hit that knocked him clean off his feet. It was a wound that was later to prove fatal for this fiery man of god.
With bodies heaped around him and bullets ricocheting off the wall at his back, Sheriff Shirley reluctantly decided to withdraw with what was left of his brave lawman posse. The Rebs had secured the loot, but it had been no easy pickin’s for them. No sir-eee.

Rob Johnson rallied his rowdy rebs, gathered up the gold, and hightailed it outta town. All in all, he was very pleased with his morning’s work, even if the cost in terms of sweat lost and blood spilled had been a little higher than he’d hoped for.

Post Mortem
Rob Johnson’s Rebs

Stephen the Heathen rolled multiple injuries on the recovery roll… and got lucky. He became hardened by his
experience and he also gained an extra wound.

Sergeant Baker also became hardened and gained +1 Grit

Corporal O’Reilly, who has been TKO’d in every encounter so far, gained +1 Grit and now has a ‘Bitter Enmity’ towards Sheriff Shirley and his boys for taking down his pal Baker.

John Palmer made a full recovery.

Seeing the Rebs in action inspired a new boy to join them. His name is Walter Closet. Oh dear.

Infamy Rating = a fulsome 91


Sheriff Shirley’s Lawmen

Preacher - finally went to meet his maker. The worms will be feasting on Boot Hill tonight.

Deputy Tom - he got one hell of a
beatin’, but at least he’s still breathin’. He’ll have to miss out 3 games while he recovers from his wounds tho’.

Sheriff Shirley has now become so skilled they are calling him the ‘rifleman’.

However, some Imeldans claim the Sheriff is suffering from partial deafness due to all the gunplay he’s been involved in of late. Shirley may think people are calling him ‘The Rifleman’, whereas in actual fact they are calling him ‘The Trifle Man’, on account of him being so partial to desserts made from solidified custard, fruit, sponge cake, jelly and whipped cream.

Infamy Rating = a sweet 40


WILD WEST FACTS
The cowboy hat we have come to know today was first designed in the 1860s by a New Jersey man named John Batterson Stetson. Stetson, in Central City, Colorado for health reasons, saw a market for a broad brimmed hat for ranch wear. He opened a shop in Philadelphia and began designing hats under the Stetson name in 1865. By 1906 Stetson employed approximately 3,500 workers, turning out two million hats a year.

The first biography of Billy the Kid appeared only three weeks after his death.

Oklahoma is a Muskoegean word that Choctaw Allen Wright coined to mean "Red People." It was first applied to the eastern portion of Indian Territory in 1890.

dodgecity-longbranchsaloon.jpg (300x198 -- 6653 bytes)
Inside the Long Branch Saloon in Dodge City, Kansas.

The Long Branch Saloon really did exist in Dodge City, Kansas. One of the owners, William Harris, was a former resident of Long Branch, New Jersey and named the saloon after his hometown in the 1880’s. The Long Branch Saloon still exists in Dodge City and can be seen at Dodge City’s Boothill Museum.

Jesse James was called "Dingus" by his friends.

The last Old West outlaw of renown to die “on the job” was Henry Starr, who began his career as a bandit in 1893 and led a gang of mounted outlaws for more than twenty-five years. Starr’s
career finally ended on February 18, 1921, when he was shot to death trying to rob a bank in Harrison, Arkansas.

During these old west times a gunfighter was also known as a “leather slapper,” a “gun fanner,” “gun trapper," “bad medicine,” “curly wolf,” and a “shootist.”

The telephone was invented in 1876. The first community to have a telephone, after the White House telephone was installed, was Deadwood, South Dakota.

According to eye witnesses, Wild Bill Hickok could hit a dime tossed into the air nine out of ten times; he could knock an apple from a tree with one shot and then hit the apple again with another bullet before it hit the ground, all at 25 paces.
Cowboys driving cattle to the market could expect to make between $25 and $40 per month. A Trail Boss might make as much as $125 per month.

In addition to Christianity and horses, the Spanish conquistadors brought something else to the American Indians. The number of Native Americans living in New Spain decreased from around 11 million in 1520 to about 6.5 million by the 1550's, thanks to measles, cholera, and other diseases imported from Europe.

Doc Holliday claimed he almost lost his life a total of nine times. Four attempts were made to hang him and he was shot at five times.

For acts of bravery during service with the U.S. Army in the Indian Wars, William F. “Buffalo Bill” Cody was awarded the Medal of Honor in 1872. But in 1917, the year of his death, it was withdrawn because of his status as a civilian scout.

Sometimes cowboys referred to beans as "Deceitful Beans" because they talked behind your back. Watch out, Windy!

Newspapers of the
Old West
Part OneArizona Territory
In 1879 a newspaper by the title of The Nugget began publication in Tombstone. Shortly after that there appeared a second newspaper in Tombstone. Its title was The Tombstone Epitaph. Few newspapers in the Old West gained as much acclaim as The Tombstone Epitaph. It was edited by John P. Clum. It is said that when someone asked Clum as to how he came upon the name for his paper he replied "Every tombstone needs an epitaph." His newspaper was to be a statement of the era.

The Winchester Rifle
"The gun that won the West"
The Winchester rifle has become synonymous with the word "repeating rifle" (i.e. multishot rifle) which was manufactured by the Winchester Repeating Arms Company and was commonly used in the United States during the latter half of the 19th century. The gun is colloquially known as "the gun that won the West" for its immense popularity at that time, as well as its use in fictional Westerns.

Characteristics
The original Winchester rifle was famous for its rugged construction and lever-action mechanism that allowed the rifleman to fire a number of shots before having to reload: hence the term, "repeating rifle."

Predecessors
The idea of a repeating rifle had been the subject of many inventions since the use of firearms began, but few of these had proven to be practical, mainly because the modern cartridge, which made repeating arms practical, had not yet been developed.

Repeating revolvers were popular in the mid 19th century. One of these revolving pistols, the Colt, was very successful, and a rifle version was produced, but it was not widely popular. The more successful Spencer rifles and carbines of the American Civil War were a notable step forward, but were not completely satisfactory in various respects.

The ancestor of the Winchester rifles was the Volcanic rifle of Horace Smith and Daniel B. Wesson. It was originally manufactured by the Volcanic Repeating Arms Company, which was later reorganized into the New Haven Arms Company, its largest stockholder being Oliver Winchester.

The Volcanic rifle used a form of "caseless" ammunition and had only limited success. Wesson had also designed an early form of rimfire cartridge which was subsequently perfected by Benjamin Tyler Henry. Henry also supervised the redesign of the rifle to use the new ammunition, retaining only the general form of the breech mechanism and the tubular magazine. This became the Henry rifle of 1860, which was manufactured by the New Haven Arms Company and was used in considerable numbers by certain Union Army units in the Civil War.

Development
After the war, Oliver Winchester continued to exercise control of the company, renaming it the Winchester Repeating Arms Company, and had the basic design of the Henry rifle completely modified and improved. It become the first Winchester rifle, the Model 1866, which fired centerfire cartridges and had an improved magazine and, for the first time, a wooden forearm. In 1873 Winchester introduced the Model 1873, with a steel frame and the more potent .44 Winchester Center Fire (WCF) cartridge. In 1876, in a bid to complete with the powerful single shot rifles of the time, Winchester brought out the Model 1876 (Centennial Model). While it chambered cartridges with more power than the 1866 and 1873 models, the toggle link action was just not strong enough for the popular rounds used in Sharps or Remington rifles.

From 1883, John Browning worked in partnership with the Winchester, designing a series of rifles and shotguns, most notably the Winchester Model 1887 and Model 1897 shotguns and the lever-action Model 1886, Model 1892, Model 1894 and Model 1895 rifles. Reproductions of the 1887 and 1897 shotguns, and the 1886 and 1892 rifles, are available today, though not from Winchester. The Model 94, and limited editions of the 1895 rifles, are still produced under the Winchester name, but no longer in the United States.

The 1866 was only available in the rimfire .44 Henry. The 73 was available in .44 WCF (.44-40), .38 WCF (.38-40), and .32 WCF (.32-20), most of which were also available in Colt, Remington, Smith & Wesson, Merwin & Hulbert, and other revolvers. Having a common centerfire cartridge in both revolvers and rifles allowed the owner to carry two firearms, but only one type of ammunition. The original 73 was never offered in the military standard .45 Colt cartridge; only modern reproductions are offered in that caliber. There was a limited number of 1873 Winchesters manufactured in .22 rimfire caliber, which lacked the loading gate on the right side of the receiver.

Winchester continued to dominate the American rifle market for decades with the introduction of Models 1876, 1886, 1892, 1894, and 1895 (which featured a box magazine, rather than the tubular magazine found on the previous models). The '76 was a heavier-framed rifle than the '66 or '73, and was the first to be chambered for full-powered centerfire rifle cartridges, as opposed to rimfire cartridges or handgun-sized centerfire rounds. It was introduced to celebrate the American Centennial, and earned a reputation as a durable and powerful hunting rifle. The Canadian Mounties also used the '76 as a standard long arm for many years. Theodore Roosevelt used an engraved, pistol-gripped half-magazine '76 during his early hunting expeditions in the West and praised it.

The Browning-designed Model 1886 continued the trend towards chambering heavier rounds, and was even stronger than the toggle-link '76. In many respects the '86 was a true American express rifle. The '86 could be chambered in the more powerful black powder cartridges of the day, including the .45-70 Government. Chambering a rifle for the .45-70 had been a goal of Winchester for some time.

Winchester returned to its roots with the Model 1892, which, like the first leverguns, was primarily chambered for lower-pressure, smaller, handgun rounds. The Model '92, however, incorporates a much stronger action than the leverguns of the 1860s and 1870s. 1,004,675 '92s were made, and although Winchester phased them out in the 1930's, they are still being made under the Puma label by the Brazilian arms maker, Rossi. In its modern form using superior materials, the 92's action is strong enough to chamber ultra-high pressure handgun rounds, such as the .357 and .44 Magnums, up to the mighty .454 Casull.

The 1892 was designed as a replacement for the 1873 by John Moses Browning. Browning went on to dominate the Winchester design team during the revolutionary period of the 1880s to the early 1900s, when smokeless powder forced all arms makers to go rethink every aspect of their firearms. Thanks to Browning's genius, Winchester was able to stay on top of the market during this explosive period. The company was the first to develop a rifle and cartridge for the new powder, the Winchester Model 1894. Though delays prevented the .30-30 or .30 WCF round from appearing on the shelves until 1895, it remained the first commercially available smokeless powder round for the North American consumer market. Though initially it was too expensive for most shooters, the '94 ultimately became Winchester's most popular rifle of all time, selling millions across North America.

In 1885 Winchester entered the Single Shot market with their model 1885 rifle, a rifle that had been designed by John Moses Browning in 1878. The Winchester Single Shot, known to most shooters as the low-wall, and the hi-wall, but officially marketed by Winchester as the Single Shot rifle, was produced to satisfy the demands of the growing sport of MATCH
SHOOTING, which opened at Creedmoor, New York, on June 21, 1872. Target shooting, MATCH SHOOTING as it was referred to, was as popular from about 1871 until about 1917, as golf in the US is popular today.

The Winchester company, which had built its reputation on repeating firearms, had in 1885, challenged the single shot giants of Sharps, Remington, Stevens, Maynard, Ballard, among others. Winchester not only entered the competition, they excelled at it, as MAJ. Ned H. Roberts (1866-1948 - inventor of the .257 Roberts) would state later, "...the most reliable, strongest, and altogether best single shot rifle ever produced." [7] There was a lot of truth to that, as Winchester produced their Single Shot from 1885 to 1920, with nearly 140,000 units. More importantly, the model 1885 had been built with the strongest falling block action known at that time, strong enough for the Winchester company to use the 1885 action to test all of their new ammunition with. To satisfy the needs of the shooting and hunting public, the model 1885 single shot had been produced in more calibers than any other winchester rifle. In 2005, after a break of 85 years, the Winchester Company reproduced a "Limited Series" of their Winchester Single shot rifles, in both 19th and 20th century calibers. The 21st century Winchester Single Shot rifles are built with the latest technology and modern steels, enabling them to fire modern cartridges. Original 1885 single shots, should be inspected by a competent gunsmith before firing modern high pressure loads or in some cases smokeless powder.

While earlier rifles and shotguns actually "won the West," the majority of lever action rifles seen in classic Hollywood Westerns are Winchester '92 carbines chambered in .44-40 and .38-40 (to utilize the "5-in-1" blank cartridge), which John Wayne famously carried around through dozens of films set in periods from the 1830s to the 1880s. Winchester rifles remained the most popular in the US through WWI and the interwar period. However, European advances in the development of bolt action rifles threw a long shadow.

These new rifles could chamber pointed "Spitzer" bullets, which no lever action with a tube magazine could. They could also cope with more pressure, and consequently chamber more potent rounds and shoot flatter than a lever rifle. On top of this, bolt actions as developed by Mauser and other European concerns had front locking lugs which stabilized the cartridge head very well, and allowed for phenomenal accuracy.
In response to the increasing competition from these bolt-action rifles, Winchester introduced the Model 70 in 1936. This was not Winchester's first bolt rifle, but it was by far their most successful. It was based on a modified Mauser Gewehr 98 design, but with modifications and popular North American chamberings which made it more appealing to American hunters than European imports or sporterized military rifles.

Glossary of American Mountain Men Terms,
Words & Expressions
Part Three
H

HAIR OF THE BEAR, HE HAS
The greatest praise a mountain man can say of another.
HALF BREED
A person of mixed blood, Indian and White.
HALF-FACED CAMP
A floor less shed, closed with poles on the back and sides, closed with skins and blankets on the front. The roof sloped from the rear of the shed to the front. This form of house or shed was greatly used by settlers until they had time to construct a log structure.
HAWK
Short for "Tomahawk".
HEFT, TO
A very old term meaning "to lift and feel the weight of".
HELLO THE CAMP
A traditional greeting given before entering any strange camp. Better given at a slight distance or the visitor may not leave in the same manner that he entered,
HIDE HUNTER
A rather low breed of man who killed buffalo for the hides only. Usually despised by all who came into contact with him. "Buffalo skins for the belts of industry."
HIVERANNO
An experienced mountain man. One who had lived many years in Indian country. (First Voyageur, later Mountain Man)

HOGSHEAD
A large wooden barrel or cask capable of holding from 100 gallons up.
HOGAN
A stick and earth lodge used by the Navaho Indians,
HOLLER CALF ROPE
Give up, surrender. An expression used by river boatmen.
HORRORS
Delirium Tremans. After the first night or two at the Rocky Mountain Rendezvous many a mountain man faced the horrors.
HUMP RIBS
The small ribs which support the buffalo's hump. Roasted they were another favorite of the mountain men.

I
INDIAN ANNUITY
Payment given to Indians as part of a treaty agreement. More often than not, a sizeable portion went into the pocket of some bureaucrat.
INDIAN BREAD
Corn meal bread.
INDIAN DOCTOR
Medicine man. Also, a White man well versed in natural medicine,
INDIAN FILE
Single file.
INDIAN GOODS
Trade goods. Often just trinkets of little value to the White man, but of great value to the Indian.
INDIAN HATCHET
Tomahawk.
INDIAN SCOUT
An Indian on scouting duty with the U.S. Amy.
INDIAN SIGN
Evidence of Indians in the area.
INDIAN UP
To sneak up on someone or something.

Shami still head honcho!

After four shoot outs Shami-leave-no-marks and his Apache braves are still top of the leader board. Jake Fargo has limped out of town, threatening to come back with his bro Wells...


heres a pic of one of shamis ancestors Ambrosius Aurelianus, "Marksy" to his Teulu
There is no Top six-gun as there are a few contenders on three kills.
Dave Marks -Shami-leaves-no-Marks Apaches: 109

Samuel Marks - Lt Norman House US infantry: 94

Pat Smith - Wind of Valdez bandidos: 92

Steve Hall - Rob Johnsons Rebs outlaws: 91

Joe Dever- Jake Fargo cowboys: Headed for the hills, or should that be his Bro's ranch. Now back on his way to Imelda with a new posse: 55

Mike Howe - Marshal Mike lawmen: 40

GAZETTE issue 3

Incorporating the Ugley Imelda GazetteIssue No. 3
Horse Rustlers Hit Town!After hastily defending Christchurch from marauding Apaches, renegade Rebs, and burrito-crazed bandidos, stalwart Lieutenant Norman House (US Army) returns to the fort to discover all of the horses have been stolen in his absence. A sombrero with an arrow through the brim was found in the empty stable, damning evidence pointing to an unholy alliance of nag rustlin’ varmints. Posse boss Jake Fargo lost two mounts from his corral, another victim of these sneaky midnight rustlers. Fargo reported the crime to Sheriff Shirley Knott. To his surprise, the Sheriff knew where to find the stolen horses: they were tethered to the rail outside the Clintons Hotel. The Sheriff remarked that there were half a dozen horses tied to the rails in that part of town. And they were all horses without saddles. Jake ruminated. Feeling much better for it, he decided at once to go and get his nags back.
Meanwhile, coming into town by the north road was Lieutenant House and a company of blue-bellied army boys. He’d heard about the horses too. Holed-up in the Grand Hotel were Windy Valdez and half his posse. Guests and staff were seen hurriedly leaving the hotel (holding their noses) soon after El Flatulencia and his calabazos arrived. Tied to the rail outside the main door were three horses; part of the bandits’ overnight haul from Fort Brannigan.
Directly across the street, outside the smaller Clintons Hotel, another three nags were hitched up to the rail. Two had Fargo’s brand; the third was U.S. Army. Jake eyeballed the brands and checked out the Apaches. Most of them were sleeping off a bellyful of rot-gut whiskey, upstairs in the first floor bedrooms. Fargo wet-panted it outta town to go fetch his posse. He was looking to make a quick raid on the snoozing squaw-lovers and get his horses back before they knew what had hit ‘em.

"How do I find Valdez?" "Easy… just follow your nose!"

Lieutenant House played it by the book. He had his men form into line and advance into town astride the north road. The plucky young officer had received word that some of the fort’s missing horses were tied up outside the Grand Hotel. A Mexican had been seen feeding them red chilies and tequila chasers shortly after sunrise. If there’s
one thing the Lieutenant can’t abide it’s 1
cruelty to animals. He was gonna make those lousy bastardiaros pay for their wanton dietary abuse of US Army livestock.
Snoozing on the porch of the Clintons was Crow Sleeplightly, the infamous insomniac injun. It was raining now, but despite the noise of the rain, it was the faint rustle of army equipment at 500 paces that had him wide awake in the blink of an eye. On the other side of the street, Concho clocked the injun leap up off the porch floor like his breeches were on fire. Only he wasn’t wearing breeches (it was more like a tasseled posing pouch with rhinestone accessories. Shami had spoken to him about this before the raid on the fort, but when it came to matters concerning the trouser department, the young brave was as obstinate as his father – Silver Thong). Crow yelled a warning to his brother braves, and Concho suddenly twigged that uniformed trouble was heading their way.

Fargo's posse gallops into trouble

With a noise like thunder, Jake and his posse rode into town at the gallop. They took the back route to the Clintons Hotel, not the most scenic part of Imelda but Jake was not interested in sightseeing; he was hoping to catch the Apaches fast asleep. But Crow had dashed that hope when he raised the alarm, and the bleary-eyed buffalo-worriers were now getting ready to give Jake and his pale-faced posse a very nasty surprise when they came a-callin’ at Clinton’s.

"come out, Valdez! we can smell your in there!"

Concho warned Valdez of the commotion and he and his honchos headed out onto the verandah to draw a bead on the Lieutenant’s advancing soldier boys. Using his sombrero, he signaled to the rest of his scattered posse to rally at the hotel. They had been posted to guard the west side of town, behind the hotel, just in case the U.S. Army came sneaking round the back in the dead of night, hoping to catch ‘em off guard. The army came alright, but unexpectedly they just marched straight down the main road into town. Sneaky is just not their style. Jake and his boys thundered towards the corner of the alley that runs between Clintons Hotel and Slim Pickin’s General Store. This alley will henceforward forever be known as ‘Injun Alley’, on account of the bloodshed that later took place in this passageway of pain. Shami’s braves got the drop on the cowboys and Dakaya took a shot at Jake with his bow. A soggy drawstring dropped the arrow short of its target. Fargo, Dwight Wright, and Frank Grant each let loose a fanned volley with their six guns that sent the redskins diving for cover, but not one round found its mark (or should that be Marks!). Concho opened up first on the army boys, but missed by a country mile. Then Valdez took aim at Pvt.David West and squeezed off a round. He’s a 3+ shooter, but Lady Luck was having none of it. He threw a 1, and then opted to add 2 points of fame to get the hit. So it was first man down against the U.S. Army. Another notch on Valdez’s gun grip as poor ol’ West went west. Peeved at having West’s brains spattered all over his freshly-pressed tunic, Soldier Charlie Plain returned fire at Valdez with his heavy pistol. The slug chewed wood a few feet from Valdez’s obstaculos (google it!) and ol’ Guacamole breath was forced to duck back for cover. Meanwhile back at Injun alley, Jake and Jed Crennan had dismounted and taken up firing positions on the first floor windows. Drawn by the fearful injun howlin’, Shami and a few of his braves approached the fight from the eastern fringes of town. They’d been up and out early to catch themselves some breakfast. Rattlesnakes. Mmmmm… scrummy! Frank Grant and Eli Cutter tried trampling the alleyway Apaches, but the meek mares they were ridin’ couldn’t have kicked their way out of a paper bag. Things got down and dirty in the ensuing knife fight, especially for Frank… seeing as how he didn’t have a knife. Hired gunslinger -the man with no name- who for the sake of convenience shall here forward be referred to as Keith, made his move for the Grand Hotel and drew a bead on Concho. The slug hit him in the head. This was one lucky muchacho. If the bullet had hit him anywhere else it could have been fatal. Concho dropped to the mud – unconcho - and Jacob Skinton took down Estavez with a round from his heavy pistol. Things were really hottin’ up at the Grand Hotel now. Lieutenant House got Valdez in his sights and let him have it. Despite the rain, and a line of sight blocked by horses, the young officer’s bullet found its mark. Valdez was wounded. The grinning salsa-chomper tumbled ass-backwards to the ground and let one rip that peeled the paint off the hotel’s window frames. A line of crows keeled over and fell off the roof, gassed stone dead before they hit the ground. Even the horses started retching. This didn’t go down at all well with the Lieutenant.

Pistolier Dwight Wright blazes away

Back in Injun alley, the Apaches now in their element in the ensuing close quarter bundle against Frank and Eli. Dwight Wright, pistoleer extraordinaire, caught sight of the Diyin’s ugly mug at an upstairs bedroom window, and he set both his guns to blazin’. He took down the Diyin, and another fellow-redskin called Naiche (not to be confused with the Seminole brave called Nietzsche, the philosopher, who wrote critiques of religion, morality, contemporary culture, philosophy, and science, and displayed a curious fondness for aphorism.)
More blood was about to be spilled, but it was Eli Cutter who did the bleedin’ this time. He was felled by Dakaya with the same knife he’d used to winkle out Sheriff Shirley’s left eye at Westboro Church not so long ago. Across the muddy main street, ‘Meh-hi-co’ Rico took down infantryman John Thorn, but he was soon to pay a heavy price when brazen Bill Buscon lobbed his lead load into the Bandido’s empanadas. Ouch!

"Hey horse- you staring at me?"

Round at the back door of the Grand Emillio and valdez were making a move using their posse’s $5 peon as a human shield. What a pair of low down dirty bandanas! Glen O’Reilly was incenced by the unscrupulous bandits but, with the innocent peon standing directly between him and his target, there was only one reasonable and responsible thing he could do. He raised his pistol and began blazing away. "How’d ya like those enchiladas, eh?" he was heard screaming. repeatedly.
Miraculously, the peon escaped beinf punctures. even more miraculously one of Glen’s slugs hit and dropped Emillio to the ground. Valdez seruptitously slipped one out as he ducked back for cover. He glared at the horses, but everyone knew it was him who’d done it. The townsfolk refrained from taking naked flames into the area for the next day or two.

Around back of the Clintons, things were taking a decidely ellipsoid form for Fargo. Shami was on a war-path all of his own, and he got quickly embroiled in a melee with Jake and Frank Grant. Frank managed to wound the injun chief, but it wasn’t enough to stop him. Saved by his extra thick fur bikini, Shami shrugged off the damage and laughed in the face of death; he still had one wound left after all.

In front of the General Store Dakaya was at it again with his nasty knife.This time it was Matt Polk who felt the bite of his blade, taken down like a lamb at slaughter time. On the opposite side of the street, Rico got shot by his posse leader - Valdez. The fetid fandango farter fired off a hasty round into a melee and took out his own man by mistake. No points for that one, El Windy.

tough fight in Injun alley

Soon after Matt Polk bit the dust, the Fargo boys' fortunes took a catastrophic turn for the worse. Hoo finally wounded Dwight Wright in a vicious knife fight that had already lasted more than a couple of rounds. His trail buddy – Frank Grant – got cornered by half a dozen blood-crazy savages and died in a crimson flurry of knife and tomahawk blows. The killing blow and his scalp were claimed by Taklishin.

Gunslinger Keith, who had been having a lean time kill wise since his noteworthy arrival in Imelda, finally got back into his stride and took down Lobo with an impressive shot from the hip. He would have given him two shots, but his other hip was empty and needed reloading.

Behind the Clintons hotel Jakes luck had finally run out. The injuns now outnumbered his posse better than 5 to 1, and the rain and close confines of the buildings were stopping Jake from using his superior firepower to best effect. Shami, still mounted, took down Jed Crennan with a crushing head blow that was to leave the cowboy permanently brain-damaged and dribbling. Jake took his chances and got away while he could, but his proud posse had been obliterated in the bloodsoaked back alleys of Imelda.

"Give it up Valdez. Ain’t no good you hidin’ in there - it ain’t got no roof."

In the Grand hotel Valdez was getting his trastero kicked in good fashion by the valient Lieutenant House. The Army had reclaimed their horses and Valdez had been given a damn good thrashing to boot. Final reckoning: Cowboys and Mexicans smegged, Feds and Reds triumphant with 3 horses each. Valdez contested the consensus that he'd been trounced by the
belly Yanks. He pointed out that he had attained a new personal skill and is now a Dead Eye shot. Also, all of his posse survived, though a couple had got a bit chewed up along the way. Concho went mad, Rico lost -1 grit due to the chest wound that Valdez gave him, Estavez stayed alive and survived, Lobo likewise, and the pitiful Peon lived and gained experience from his close call with calibre .45.
Thw Feds faired better. Casualty John Thorne suffered 3 multiple injuries. First was a chest wound costing -1 grit, the second was a head injury resulting in -1 Fight, and the third was a close encounter with a snake oil salesman with a difference. The difference being that this time the snake oil actually worked! His chest and head wounds healed up nicely and John is now back in the ranks, as bright as a shiny brass US Army regulation issue button.
Jake Fargo may of had a bad time of it going hand-to-hand against Shami’s braves, but the true extent of the disaster was revealed in all its painful glory in the final reckoning. Jed Crennan went mad from the head wound he received from Shami himself. Frank Grant trotted off to Boot Hill with life and equipment lost. Eli Cutter went the same way. So too did Matt Polk. Only Jake and Dwight Wright survived the alleyway action, with Dwight advancing +1 grit. Cold compensation indeed for what had been lost. Insult turned further to injury when the dice for cash were rolled. The three dice delivered 2 : 2 : 1. Yup, that’s right - a measley $5. Not even enough to buy a six gun.

"I’m gonna get my big bruvver on you!"

With four of his six posse members gone to meet their maker, Jake headed off to New Mexico. He had suffered a serious defeat and although he was down he was definitely not out. Jake paid a visit to his brother, Wells, in Alberquque. He and his bro have started a new homeboy posse and are already on their way back to Imelda. Woe betide any redskins who tangle with Jake and Wells now!
Shami and his boys were up all night celebrating their magnificent victory over the palefaces, with lashings o’ firewater and rattlesnake canapés. Wicasa became a sidewinder. The Diyin survived getting shot up badly by pistol tottin’ Dwight Wright, the Medicine Man added a +1 to his Fighting skill, Dirty Dakaya added +1 to his strength, Taklishin acquired the new skill of Fury, Crow Sleeplightly survived, and Hoo added +1 to his shooting skill. Shami picked up a lot of Fargo posse loot and made $23 on the horse sales. The only dampener, apart from the relentlessly rainy campaign weather, was a mediocre $27 payoff despite 9 dice thrown.

wild west facts

was shot in the back by Bob Ford on April 3, 1882, in St. Joseph, Missouri. Professed to be a friend of James, Ford was reviled for shooting James from behind and was forever known as a "coward." Ten years later, he himself was himself shot to death in Creede, Colorado.

The main characters of the Dalton gang-brothers, Grat, Bob and Emmett all wore badges before moving to the other side of the law.

"Boys i've found a goldmine." - James W Marshall whose discovery of gold started the California Gold Rush. The location was a saw mill where Marshall withdrew a gold nugget from the American River.

The famous Goodnight-loving trail was established in 1866 between Fort Belknap, Texas and Fort Sumner, New Mexico. Oliver Loving was later killed by Indians on the trail bearing his name. Goodnight, on the other hand, died a wealthy man in his nineties in 1929.

Clay Allison- after sititng in a dentist chair in Cheyenne, Wyoming , forcibly pulled one of the dentist’s teeth when the doctor drilled on the wrong molar by mistake. He would have continued pulling out the dentist’s teeth, but the man’s screams brought in people from the street.

On November 24, 1835, the Republic of Texas established a force of frontiersmen called the "Texas Rangers". The rangers were paid $1.25 per day for their services. The members of The Texas Rangers were said to be able to "ride like a Mexican, shoot like a Kentuckian, and fight like the devil himself."

Most professional gunfighters died in states or territories where the most shootings occurred: Texas, Kansas, New Mexico, Oklahoma, California, Missouri, and Colorado.

Black Jack Ketchum was the only person ever hung in Union County, New Mexico. According the annals of American Jurisprudence, he was the only criminal decapitated during a judicial hanging. The only previously recorded example of this gruesome hanging mishap was in England in 1601.

The Pony Express was only in operation for nineteen months, from April 1860 through to October 1861. The Pony Express carried almost 35,000 pieces of mail over more than 650,000 miles during those nineteen months and lost only one mail sack. The typical Pony Express rider was nineteen years old and made the princely sum of $100-$150 per month plus room and board.

In 1884, the citizens of Montana Territory were fed up with lawlessness. After forming a large-scale vigilante force, they executed thirty-five horse and cattle thieves that year.

The famous gunfight at the O.K. Corral only lasted about thirty seconds. Mattie Earp, Wyatt Earp’s second wife, who was with him in Tombstone during the O.K. Corral gunfight committed suicide with an overdose of laudanum on July 3, 1888 in Pinal, Arizona. She was despondent because Earp had left her for another woman.

Lewis and Clark never knew it, but the Spanish sent out four expeditions between August, 1804 and August, 1806 to try and stop them. However, they failed in their mission as they were consistently turned back by the Indians. However, on one occasion they came close - near Red Cloud, Nebraska they were within 140 miles.

During the course of his 21 year tenure at Fort Smith, Judge Isaac Parker sentenced 160 men and women to death for convictions of rape or murder; of this total, only 79 men actually were executed on the gallows. The Judge only handed down the death sentences; he did not attend the executions or participate in them in any official capacity.

Belle Starr, the "Outlaw Queen," a horse thief, outlaw and part-time prostitute was the first woman to be tried for a serious crime by Judge Isaac Parker. She was sentenced to five months in prison for horse theft. In 1889 she was shot in the back and killed by an unknown assailant.

Wild Bill Hickok was killed by an alcoholic drifter named Jack McCall while playing poker in a saloon in Deadwood, South Dakota, on August 2, 1876. When he was killed he was holding a poker hand of aces and eights, thereafter known as the Dead Man’s Hand.

Despite Hollywood’s depiction to the contrary, Jesse and Frank James were never cowboys. Both were raised on a farm in Missouri, where many of their crimes occurred.

Henry Wells, of the famous Wells, Fargo and Company freight line never lived any further West than Buffalo, New York.

Windy Tales
Part 2:
'My Wind is still in tact after that bit of horse rustling. I did not lose any men, in fact I now have some extra Wind. I have recruited another peon and a Half Breed by the name of Mexanche. So as you see, my Wind is now getting very big but I also have slow Wind, due to not being very successful with the horse rustling. One of the biggest problems with the fight was my men were drawn to the Saloon and I had a big problem getting them out. Too much liquor inside and too much lead outside. I have some good news and bad news for you all. The good news, I killed another Americano today (3 x kills). The bad news, Valdez, the people's hero, the modern day Robin Hood, the Mexican in green tights, has to share his top six gun status with another. Dry your eyes my people, I promise you, I will be back as you have not heard the last of my Wind'
Proclamation !
The citizens and good people of IMELDA,
hereby declare that from this day forth, only legal horse stealing permitted. A pardon shall be granted and goods allowed to be kept, on condition, those known varmints who have partaken cease forthwith in their fixation with other peoples horse flesh. Failure to comply will result in the no good, yellow belly, horse stealing varrrrrmint,
to be hung by the neck until dead. And may the Lord have mercy upon their souls. Amen.

Wyatt Earp stated that trick shooting didn't decide a gunfight. It was an axiom among gunfighters that a man who won a shoot-out was the man who took his time. "Shooting at a man who is returning the compliment means going into action with the greatest speed of which a man's muscles are capable, but mentally unflustered by an urge to hurry or the need for complicated nervous and muscular actions which trick shooting involves." He died a healthy 81 in Los Angeles, California, January 13, 1929.

Glossary of American Mountain Men Terms,
Words & Expressions
Part TwoD
DEAD FALL
A tree blown down by the wind or other force of nature. Also, a trap which utilizes a falling log or stone as the actual trapping mechanism.
DEAD MEAT
Carrion.
DIAMOND HITCH
A hitch (knot) used to fasten cargo to a pack saddle.
DIG UP THE TOMAHAWK
Start a war. Often the word "hatchet" was substituted for "tomahawk".
DRY, I AM
I am thirst, likely for something stronger than water.
DUMPLING DUST
Flour. This term originated from the early practice of mixing dough by pouring water in a depression made in the flour while it was still in the sack, causing small puffs of dust. Both the term and practice are still used by north woodsmen.
DU PONT
Gunpowder.
DUTCHMAN
Any type of temporary prop or support.
DUTCH OVEN
A large kettle with three feet and a dished lid. It can be used for both cooking and baking.
E
EASY WATER
Calm, smooth water on a river or lake.
ENGAGEMENT
A 3-year agreement between a trapper and a fur company.
ENGAGES
Company trappers bound for 3 years to sell all they trap to only one company.
F
FACTOR
Chief of a trading post or trading party, authorized by the company to sell or trade company merchandise.
FATHER OF ALL WATERS
Mississippi River. An Indian term.
FAT PINE
Pitch pine, very good for starting fires.
FEAST CAKES
Pancakes.
FILLY
A young, female horse; although just as likely to be applied to a young, shapely, good-looking woman.
FIRE WATER
Whiskey. This term comes from the Indian practice of throwing a cup of whiskey into a fire to see if it would burn. If it would not flame up, it would not be accepted.
FIZZ-POP
A very early soda pop made by mixing a little vinegar and a spoon of sugar in a glass of fresh water. Just before drinking mix in about a quarter of a spoon of soda.
FLASH IN THE PAN
A misfire. Also a man who spends a great deal of time bragging, but never seems to be around when it comes to proving himself.
FLESHED
Any skin or hide which had the flesh and fat scraped off before it was dried.
FLESHING

The process of removing the excess flesh and fat from a skin or hide.
FLAT BOAT
A large scow used to float up to three tons of fur and skins to St. Louis.
FLOAT STICK
A stick attached to a steel trap used to show the location of the trap and the trapped animal. From this comes the expression, "That's the way my stick floats" , meaning , " That's the way I feel about it."
FOOFARRAW
Any fancy clothing or anything fancy on clothing. Just about anything used for decoration
FORK A HORSE (or MULE)
Mount the animal.
FORT UP
Get ready to fight a defensive battle.
FREE TRAPPER
A trapper who worked for himself, trapping and selling where he wanted and to whom he wanted. As free a man as the elements would allow.
FUR COUNTRY
As the mountain men used the expression, The Rocky Mountains.
FUSEES
A fusil or trade musket
G
GALENA
Lead.
GALENA PILLS
Lead balls (bullets).
GALETTE
A basic flour and water bread made into flat, round cakes and fried in fat or baked before the open fire. (Voyageur)
GALLUS'S
Suspenders.
GANT UP
Tighten up on a rope or belt.
GET YER BRISTLES UP, TO
To get angry.
GEWGAWS
Beads, bells, small mirrors, etc. used for decoration.
GONE, HE'S
He's dead.
GORDOS
Flapjacks (hotcake, pancakes whatever).
GO UNDER, TO
To die.
GONE BEAVER
Said of someone who has been dead some time. He's about to go under; but once dead, he's a gone beaver.
GRAINED
See "Fleshed".
GRAS
Animal fat.
GRAS LAMP
See "Bitch".
GREASE HUNGER, I HAVE
An expression meaning "I am hungry for meat."*
GREASE AND BEANS
An expression meaning "Food".
GREEN HAND
A term used by early traders meaning an inexperienced man,
GREEN MEAT
Meat which still had the animal heat in it.
GREEN RIVER
A western river (see any good map). The hilt of a knife (from the old GR trade mark up near the hilt). A knife made by Russell Green River Works. A copy of a Russell Green River Works knife,
GREEN RIVER, UP TO
Anything of quality was said to be "up to Green River".
GRUB
Food. This very old term is still widely used.
GULLY WASHER
A very hard downpour of rain.

WINDY TALES part one by Pat Smith

New recruits Rice and Emiliano

Sitting around the campfire drinking coffee and eating their beans, Valdez and the Windies were planning their next move.

They had lost Chino to Boot Hill and would avenge his death with the help of two new members to their posse. Rico and Emiliano.

Times were hard and Valdez had to spend his loot wisely. He decided he couldn’t afford to buy his men mounts at this moment in time as he needed all the firepower he could get but he did promise them some Horse Rustling pretty soon.

Valdez had killed two men in the last couple of days and was starting to get a bit of a reputation as the top sixgun in the area. Whenever he went into town he had this reporter guy following him around promising to make him famous.

Valdez laughed at this, Hahahahaaaaaaa! “You can follow me around Mr Reporter but its not you that will make me famous”. He looked over fondly towards his men and said”it’s my wind that will make me famous”.

Shami-leave-no-Marks is head honcho!

Shami and his braves do the scalp

After the first two shoot outs of the campaign Shami-leave-no-marks and his Apache braves are top of the leader board. Well done Dave, but dont smoke to much of that peace pipe the war aint over yet!

Dave Marks Shami-leaves-no-Marks Apaches: 94

Samuel Marks Lt Norman House US infantry: 88

Pat Smith Wind of Valdez bandidos: 68

Steve Hall Rob Johnsons Rebs outlaws: 59

Mike Howe Marshal Mike lawmen: 53

Joe Dever Jake Fargo cowboys: 50

Valdez isTop six-gun!

Valdez and the spirit of the times billboard boy

After two games in the campaign Valdez is top six-gun with to confirmed kills. His infamy has grown swiftly and he is lucky to be alive after receiving a grazed forehead from a crack shot by trooper Bill Bascom.

a few extra photos from first games

Rob Johnson and his rebs at their starting (and finishing) positions a few minutes later....

Joe "dice-king" Dever strikes a pose

the Apache dismounts to dig up the gold

the cowboys lay down heavy fire from the treeline

US infantry take up position on the hill overlooking the creek

Jake "wetpants" Fargo earns his nickname

The creek begins to run red with blood

the hand of the almighty (Dave) plucks another casualty from the field

Sheriff Shirley is surrounded by redskins after his scalp

The bandidos use the ladies as human shields, some say they were a little to willing......

The hard fought melee continues in the rocky outcrop

With a rebel yell Johnson and his boys assault the ruined outbuilding

Blue bellies skirt the church closing in on the bandidos

the congregation is protected by the US army and the comforting words of the preacher